No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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