What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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