i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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