i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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