My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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