This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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