I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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