Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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