How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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