She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Two words: blizzard sex
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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