Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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