Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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