6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize