Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.

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  (570): We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine. http://tfl.nu/j4ko
  Replies (7) Good night (683) Bad night (1603) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...

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  (269): So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night. (937): Feels good to be wearing underwear again though... http://tfl.nu/djzk
  Replies (2) Good night (3395) Bad night (471)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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  (303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England http://tfl.nu/wgnu
  Replies (63) Good night (16570) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.

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  (613): Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing. http://tfl.nu/hxx0
  Replies (37) Good night (4287) Bad night (647) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside

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  (724): I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside http://tfl.nu/gfts
  Replies (23) Good night (1131) Bad night (4240) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.

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  (206): She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America. http://tfl.nu/8yw3
  Replies (8) Good night (2012) Bad night (704) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I think mounting someone proves who's house this is

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  (602): I think mounting someone proves who's house this is http://tfl.nu/3n41
  Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (649) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.

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  (831): The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/bj5u
  Replies (1) Good night (1497) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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  (928): I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop. http://tfl.nu/tczb
  Replies (17) Good night (3294) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought you were single?

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.

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  (262): I thought you were single? (1-262): I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick. http://tfl.nu/pt5v
  Replies (6) Good night (1634) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy 

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  (902): Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy  http://tfl.nu/xdoc
  Replies (1) Good night (858) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.

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  (724): At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help. http://tfl.nu/kqwe
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (507)
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  (818): View more from California

  Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.

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  (818): Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle. http://tfl.nu/73xi
  Replies (3) Good night (1043) Bad night (231)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.

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  (202): Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT. http://tfl.nu/f3qw
  Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Would you like season tickets to my vagina?

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  (502): Would you like season tickets to my vagina? http://tfl.nu/fkgh
  Replies (12) Good night (1461) Bad night (169) Order T-Shirt

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