I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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