dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Damn victory sex feels great
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize