dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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