Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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