tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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How external is "for external use only"?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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