Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
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The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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