If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize