Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You made out with two different species that night
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I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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