fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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