He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
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i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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