you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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