the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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