Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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