at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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