I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
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i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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