okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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