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i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
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