Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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