I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize