i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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