its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize