But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
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As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize