It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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