I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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