Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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