i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
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You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
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Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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