I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
ok first of all what the fuck
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize