He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
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i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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