You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
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I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
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of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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