And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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