I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize