Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
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Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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