Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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