Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize