Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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