I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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